One of the advantages of living in a Hi-tech place in Gurgaon is that everyone is familiar with and has access to all kinds of hi tech products. For someone like me, it has also become a disadvantage. I am not a cavewoman who hankers for the good old days where using a knife instead of bare hands was considered going hi-tech. I am all for any gizmo that makes our life simpler, removes the drudgery of household work and provides entertainment at the touch of a button. I am happy to be typing this article through a word document on my aptop rather than a pen and paper but I have found that technology has more ways for complicating my life rather than simplifying it.
One of the most important topics in an social gathering is the acquisition and use of new gadgets. A favourite party game is ‘ Passing the phone’. A new acquisition complete with Louis Vuiton/Ed Hardy designer cover is passed around amidst admiring cries. The owner lists its many wonderful features in great detail. “This has amazing picture quality – you can even see the eye of the housefly on this photo” “I can make recordings of my bathroom singing and zip them to my friends across 25 countries.” “ Siri, please give me the weather report in Mongolia and check the status of my flight to Ulan Bator,” another croons to his gizmo with the gaze of a doting lover. Everyone else murmurs in approval mentally making a note to jettison their old box and buy to the hottest new item. “So which one do you have?” a friend asked me at one of these gatherings. “An iphone”, I muttered proudly having upgraded to one two years ago. She continued “I just got myself a 5. Do you know it has an HD option for video? I used it to record Anisha’s dance during the form morning and it came out so well. So which one do you have?” “I don’t know” I said, gaining immediate admission to the Mobile Phone Hall of Shame. I usually don’t carry my phone to parties anymore.
Once I did attempt to join the crowd and announced, “I have got myself a new laptop.” My old one had a key or two missing and was so slow and sickly that it needed to be put to sleep. Immediately I was asked, “Why didn’t you get an ultrabook? What is the processor? What GB? What RAM? Does it have a touchscreen option?” My head was reeling. “You should get a tablet.” offered another. “Yes, I do need a Saridon” I nodded, touched by his empathy and sensitivity. “I meant the computer”, he said giving me a strange look that meant ‘ which rock have you crawled out from.’
It is not enough just to possess the latest gadget but one must also upgrade ones vocabulary. Even Auntyji and Uncleji are now aware about 3G and 2G.A toddler’s first words these days are TV, or ipad. Even before he can hold a spoon, his chubby finger is busy making fluffy red birds knock off fat green pigs across a screen. A three year old who has barely got all his molars now talks about Bluetooth. I have had to look at the Universe in a different way- The Galaxy is no longer a collection of stars and planets and Androids are not those cute little robots in Star Wars.
There is a whole new dictionary out there and I am yet to master all its contents. One of our acquaintances was driving us in his new car to a restaurant and we happened to get lost. He switched on a little screen near the dashboard. Even a non car enthusiast like me recognised it immediately. “Oh, you have a GPRS”, I remarked showing off my knowledge. “It is a GPS”, he corrected. “Isn’t it the same?” I dug my own grave a little more. Then I was given a short lecture by my husband on the difference between the two at the end of which my eyes glazed over and my appetite got lost.
I have now decided to add my own word to the dictionary- that versatile word called ‘thingy’ as in ‘ Do you have the thingy that can connect your charger to a plug point? I want that thingy which can get me free songs on my phone.’ If I can’t figure something out, I call my eleven year old daughter who is in charge of the maintenance of my gadgets. Whenever anyone talks about technology ,I adopt the air of an eccentric writer and murmur about the therapeutic smell of fresh paper. I quickly change the topic to the volatile real estate prices/vagaries of domestic help/road conditions etc. all of which provide a good respite from tech talk.
